second pregnancy

Hm...what to say...panas..berat...ngos2an...kaki pegel2...punggung juga...but most of all, I feel so much blessed! He he. Cuaca di jkt emang cukup dashyat dan jadi tantangan terbesar. Panasss banget in these few days. I feel like melting,my shirt always wet and the worst is I feel smelly whole time except at evening :)

Tapi 2nd pregnancy ini terasa lebih enteng. Morning sickness cukup bisa di-handle. First time I found out that I was late, around a month after joice's first birthday. Namanya cewe,punya feeling wah jangan2,jangan2 neh... :) then I bought the chepest testpack ever,beda bgt bo sama kehamilan pertama yg bela-belain beli test pack khusus hcg yg bentuknya kotak dan mahal he he, yang kali ini yah..'Sensitif' yang sebatang kertas aja :) ehhhh taunya positif,langsung pengen ke dokter deh untuk make sure,karena on that time,joice belum sapih totally, masih asi malam hari..mual jugs belum ada. Pas ke dokter baru 5 minggu ternyata. Jadi ga kelihatan apa apa,hanya kantung janin di rahim. But my husband is the one who was sooooo excited! Pagi waktu I told him, he said, he had a dream about a lady who just gave birth hahaha! Apa tuh namanya,promenation...or what...?!?!

Anyway, minggu ke 6-16 adalah masa terpanjang. Ever ever in my life..*sigh. Lemas dan muntah yg parah,tapi makanan yang menggugah masih bisa masuk untungnya. What did I crave?? Let's see...
1. Bubur abang-abang yang kuahnya pakai bumbu kuning itu,ayam disuwir dan abangnya ga pernah cuci tangan untuk kasi uang kembalian or nyuwirin ayam. Untung ada gerobak asik di depan kompleks pik,agak jauh tapi dekat juga :)
2. Pepper lunch. Over expensive kata calvin untuk nasi begitu adja si...but itu yang masuk,jadi hampir tiap sore,kita bertiga with joice ke TA. Mall terdekat yg ada restonya...
3. Bihun bebek. Kuah yg bau obat itu terasa wangi dan enak...kkk...
4. Bihun goreng instan. Nah hamil pertama,maunya bihun kuaaaahhh aja,yg ke 2,cuma bisa bihun goreng. Cium bau indomie langsung uweeekk. Sedangkan my dear husband,lagi craving indomie! Sering masak and the smell was just tortured me...hueekkk
5. Rendang padang sederhana. Bumbunya wangi dan dashyat, tinggal call and delivery, makan itu saja plus nasi putih sudah terasa nikhmaht!

Itu lah top 5 nya selama 5 bulan. Don't mention susu dan telur dan ikan. Itu haram...dengernya aja uda mual,apalagi terhidang di meja. Forget it.

My joice...hiks..terpaksa disuap sama pembantu. Mgkn sudah Tuhan yang atur,dia mau disuap pembantu,biasanya ga mau,karena mama cium bau bubur tim nya joice sudah mau muntah. Dapur tutup, tidak ada yg boleh masak. Yang mau masak,harus secepat the flash dan hanya boleh daun bawang,tanpa bawang merah or putih.. Plain yah...untung I always have my dearest mom to back up. She came like thrice a week to provide food and play with joice.thanks a lot God.. :)

but after 4 moths,semuanya terasa mudah hehehehe...i keep gaining weight until now ant the baby is soooo active. he kicks even harder than joice before :) maybe because i drink too much milo so he's so active ha ha!

can't wait to see you soon, baby boy...mama is waiting for your coming ....muahhh

2 weeks before 1,5

At these past 2 weeks,joice had started to combine two words together. Its not easy for her to say perfectly even one word,yet she's tried to combine 2 words together. Since she was baby, I tried to talk to her in mandarin, so she understands it from early age. Teaching something in mandarin isn't so easy, my mandarin isn't really perfect hehehehe but I try my best to speak daily conversation all in mandarin. My mom always speaks to joice in mandarin , so I learn hard words or vocabulary much from her, or my dad :)

So anyway, joice started to speak in mandarin actually for the first time. She could say: pho pho (nenek), A ma (nenek juga), mamam, nyum (minum), bobo, cece, dede, mbak, cie (pinjam), jhiek (potong..karena joice suka mainan potong2 buah :) ),pung (mandi), bhung (jatuh), juju (agar-agar hahahaha), eee iiii (sesuatu yg dia mau ngomong tapi ga bisa), pau (roti), byeee, bha bha (takut), mimi (barney), mini (minnie mouse), maen (mau main), ap (bebek), uuuu (ayam jantan), I think that's all that I can remember for now...

In this week, suddenly she tries so hard to say two words in one short sentence. Like, cece mamam, mama cie, dede bobo, mama nyum, its hard for the first time then it flows from her mouth so easily now :)

Not only in verbally, but she's also tries to copy my motion and words. If I say something then she would just copy exactly the same. If I try to clap my hands then she would follow too. Ha ha ha.

Another thing that is happening now, joice is so attached to me since my tummy is getting bigger too. She's aware that she'll have brother soon so she acts sooooo different. Usually she does her things everything by her own. She enjoys to play in her own time and never felt insecure if I need to cook or going to bathroom. But now if I dissapear from her sight,even only a few seconds and she realizes it, she would look for me and call "mama mama".its always like that.. People say,it might be beacuse of "bawaan dede nya..tau mau punya dede.." Whatever it is, I believe she will change again after having little brother...for now,she feels that she needs me all the time, but later she'll grow up and be independent more than what I can imagine..so I just enjoy this moment..our togetherness together hehehehe...

Grow up joice, be more mature each day...(Kasian papa lagi ga laku musimnya saat ini hahahahaha,maunya mama melulu, even papa is always the best untuk jalan jalan yah joiceee...)

a regret

I was working in a school and enjoyed my work much, its a Christian school and I have been working for 5 years. Didn't think about resigning,but after joice was born, everything was changed ( thank God I had a good principal and friend, she understood totally when I finally should resign). Joice needed me so much than what I could imagine :) at that time, she was only 3 months old, but she understood and anxious to be separated from me. I shoul wake up at 5, to feed her last time then went to work, works started at 7 a.m then it finished at 4 p.m so I reached home about 5 p.m, wah a tiring trip too,because its far from home. For the first week, joice cried everytime she was fed with expressed breastmilk that put in bottle. I thanked God too for oversupply so actually the milk was more than enough for joice. But she kept crying until she got tired and slept. Sometimes with hungry tummy. My mom had said yes to take care joice, so I was lucky to have my mom around. But joice refused all things. She just wanted me to be with her, to feed her and just there for her...she was only 3 months and I couldn't let her just cried with empty stomach. So after discussion with my husband, I decided to stop working. It was a big struggle because I was in the middle of academic year. Nobody could replace my work. I was guilty too. But joice needed me more than anything. She didn't want to drink any milk, so mommy gave up and did the best for my little one.

For the first month at home was so stressful. I have enjoyed to go out and work everyday, but now I should just stayed at home and do cooking, feeding baby all the time. I didn't enjoy it, really! I didn't know why, but I took it just for a burden. I didn't feel like this was what I wanted. It took me another month to really appreciate and give thanks for what I actually have...joice grew up ...cepet bgt sampai2 kita ga bisa bayangin. So singkat cerita, dia harus mulai makan makanan padat. I was there for the first bite. Yang mandiin,yang ajak dia main,kasi stimulation setiap hari baik secara motoric, verbal, etc. Buatkan makanan, belanja kebutuhan makanan. Everything. I am with her 24/7 everyday... :)

Kalau dikilas balik,
I would regret if I chose to keep on working..fulll time...
I would regret if I hired somebody to take care of her...
I would regret because I couldn't turn back time..

Karena di setiap tahap perkembangannya, I was there..
Gigi pertama
Senyum pertama
Ketawa pertama
Duduk pertama
Rangkak pertama
Jalan pertama
Ohhh and more many things..

I have seen some babies yang banyak waktunya diasuh oleh babysitter, tadinya I don't realize apa sih bedanya, toh babysitter cukup handy nanganin anak, dan lebih berpengalaman. Now I know the difference. Babysitter cuma kasih safety dan perlindungan, ganti popok basah,kasi makan,mandiin. Mereka ga punya affection. Mereka takut baby itu kenapa2 bukan karena pure sayang, tapi karena takut diomelin majikan! Lebih parah lagi, baby yang kebanyakan diasuh bs, biasanya kurang stimulasi. Sehingga perkembangan lebih lambat, karena bs lbh banyak spend time waktu dengan dia daripada mamanya. Mama hanya sebentar dan itu pun tidak maksimal karena letih bekerja. So I got the point after I experienced it by myself.

Another point is if we have a stable financial,its a blessing so we can stay at home. I can understand some people yang harus tetap bekerja. Kehidupan mereka tidak mudah. Mereka harus bekerja untuk kebutuhan sehari-hari, biasanya nenek menjadi andalan untuk mengurus anak. I totally understand dan suasanan rumah tangga setiap orang berbeda. They dream that one day they don't need to work, they really wish to spend more time with their kids. But they just can't. Kebutuhan semakin banyak, dan biaya tidak murah. They have no choice for that. Tapi lain lagi untuk kalangan mommies yang sebenarnya financially sangat berkecukupan, but they chose to work and sacrifice their kids. Dengan alasan bahwa bosan,dan perlu bekerja untuk mengusir rasa bosan, tapi mereka ga pikir lagi gimana dari pihak anak-anak? Kids don't need anyone, they just need their mother. That's all. Anak dari baby menjadi kurang stimulasi, mama bekerja, tahap perkembangan dan sosialisasi anak akan tumbuh secara berbeda pula. Some people told me alasannya: toh, gedenya nanti sama juga kok...buat apa kita cape-cape. Nah kalau gitu, I just answered, ngapain punya anak,kalau ga mau cape..? Doeeennnggg...

an article or story yang kemarin baru beredar di kalangan bb user,tolong mandikan aku,bunda. It was a very touching story... Wish I still have the link to be posted here. Mau cerita itu adalah nyata atai tidak. Cerita itu sudah mewakili semuanya. Ibu itu memang akhirnya berkesempatan memandikan anaknya,tapi saat anaknya sudah tidak bernyawa..hiks hiks...very sad...saat keadaan baik-baik saja, orang tua akan merasionalisasikan semua alasan agar mereka tetap bisa bekerja, padahal tanpa bekerja, financially mereka sudah cukup.di saat baik- baik, orang tua akan bilang : tuh kan anak gua baik2 aja dijaga suster. Gede dan sehatnya sama kaya anak elu. Pinter lagi, udah sekolah. Hayo, mau ngomong apaaa... But if...saat kita kerja, lalu something happen with this child, entah tiba2 panas tinggi,jatuh,kecelakaan di dalam rumah, or name it an accident, anak perlu ditangani dengan sangat cepat. A baby or child cuma punya waktu beberapa second untuk survival. Ingat,mereka bukan orang dewasa. Kalau sampai terjadi sesuatu ... I don't think uang yang kita punya sekalipun bisa mengganti semuanya. Bahkan jiwa kita pun ga bisa ditukar..karena sudah terjadi semuanya. A smart friend of mine juga pernah bilang, its so smart to put a camera in your home, tapi kapan kita putar kamera itu? Setelah kejadian itu terjadi...so its too late guys, sudah terjadi and even you find it out now, there's nothing you can do to change what had happened... ( Iya kan... Hm..)

Sekedar tambahan cerita, a story juga beredar, tentang sopir dan pembantu yang melegalkan sopir memperkosa anak majikan. Hiiii serammmm motifnya macam2, bisa balas dendam or khilaf or apapun. Anyway, I don't think a mom yg bisa hire sopir dan mbak or nanny ga punya sama sekali waktu untuk antar jemput. She must have lots of money to hire them but she chose to let them take care of her kids...setelah kejadian seperti itu, akan seperti apakah ni mama...? I can't imagine anak itu tumbuh dgn trauma dan kesedihan tak berujung huhuhuhu...

So mommies out there, choose your best decision, struggle dan serahkan ke Tuhan dalam doa. Supaya Tuhan tunjukkan jalan terbaik..I believe everyone isn't perfect dan kita juga ga bisa very protective sama anak (mau jadi apa kalau dikungkung terus) but I believe ada prinsip2 tertentu yang kita pegang sebagai orang tua. Ada batas di mana kita harus kerja, ada batas di mana kita harus stay di rumah, dan ada batas juga kita punya 'me' time..hehehehe I just shared my experiences and struggle and thought...go mommies go...do the best and jangan lupakan prinsip-prinsip alkitab yah... :)

shifting to formula ... (bottled milk)

So many people ask me about this so I better write it down..and also it's a note for me to learn again and remember how could I pass this moment... (Cieee padahal yg nanya cuma 1 or 2 org,heehehe)

Nih buat my friend, Shella juga,yang sedang berjuang...go go shella and icia...!! :)

So after the first year birthday celebration, I had decided to stop breastfeeding and started formula. Joice is old enough to be protected with breast milk, she is now ready to take any kind of milk to balance her nutrience. Though some people say actually breast milk is consider good and nutritious until 2 years old, but I,myself have doubted that. Joice, as physically also ready I think. She's getting taller,mature, and it's not right to see this big girl still sitting on mommy's lap and can't go around so much because she would come back for milk..adohhh yg bener aja, udah setua gini loh....

Hal yang pertama: cari info sebanyak-banyaknya dari semua temen2 yang kasi asi juga, how to shift from breast to bottle yah?
Ada banyak cara yang didapat:
1. Langsung stop dgn kasi yang pahit-pahit, ini untuk anak yang susahhh bgt stop nya. Jadi harus langsung mendingan. Setelah pahit, biasanya mereka akan give up,ketika disodorin lagi pasti menolak. Wueekk gitu katanya :) yah rasa jamu pahit or minyak angin gitu loh...siapa yang mau coba...tapi setelah itu, ada beberapa kasus, mereka jadi ga doyan susu setelahnya...sama sekali, dan bahkan menolak botol. Susu jadi susah masuk, anak jadi kurus..*sigh
2. Langsung stop tanpa pahit pahit, ini juga untuk anak yang 'sulit' , biasanya anak2 ini juga jadi susah susu dan makan. Makan hanya jenis tertentu saja selama seminggu atau absen susu selama seminggu,lalu mulai meminum susu kembali. Tapi ada jeda waktu istilahnya..still ☺kªªªÿ.. Asal memang akhirnya minum susu
3. Bertahap dengan cara stop pagi, siang, baru malam yang terakhir. I chose this way, untuk menguragi engorgement on breast, karena punya background seperti itu, lupa pompa maka aduhai rasa bengkak dan sakit yg tak tertahankan. Namun pada state ini, memang breastmilk sudah jauh menyusut, tapi pengalaman buruk tetap membayangi. Lebih baik prevent toh yah,daripada bengkak, daku bs mati pingsan ga tahan hohohoh. Masukan dari teman yang mencoba caranya adalah memberi formula dulu,baru diberi nen. Jadi nen terakhir, setelah formula sudah masuk banyak,dengan cara ini, kita ga bengkak karena berkurang scr perlahan supply susu nya (thanks a lot ci rose for your wejangan..). Pertama kali coba adalah susu uht kotak gambar sapi. Sudah di atas setahun,sudah boleh. Setelah beberapa hari, joice ngambek, ga mau lagi uht nya,maka dengan sendok,dipaksa minum sambil nonton tv, setelah itu pas mau bobo,digendong saja, agak sedih dia,tp nrimo2 aja,karena perut sudah terisi oatmeal + susu 125 ml. Sangat cukup. Siang hari agak give up deh, jadi kasi nen. Malam juga. Setelah itu, cari2 and hunting sufor apa yg mgkn dia suka taste nya. Jadilah kami penadah susu. Teman gereja yang baik2 hati ini menyumbang sample susu untuk 2x 100 ml. Ada berbagai merk. Namanya anak2,sukanya madu. Walahhhh suppose to give her vanilla sbg starter...so akhirnya my sister-in-law punya cadangan anmum vanilla. Iseng ah bikin.... Ternyataaaaa langsung habis dalam sekejap! Puji Tuhan....after 2x100 ml,wah mulai pede nih,mamanya,siang kasi anmum lalu gendong saja, malam pun juga. Dalam satu hari akhirnya semua beressss... She took the bottle..horeeee, untuk release dan enak so I pumped my breastmilk..uh oh ternyata sudah habis juga supply ibu sapi ini, tinggal 50 ml saja..wow cepet sekali berkurang dalam beberapa minggu ini...senangggg,setelah pumped for the second time, then the milk finally kering kerontang...wah lega jugaaaa. Joice bobo enakkkk skaliiii...anmum juga cocok tanpa sulit poo or allergic. Everything goes weeellll. Thank you Lord...because not longgggggg enough, I discovered that I pregnant again...oh great, lepas satu, datang satu, yahooooo... But somehow I believe this is God's work. He gave us another child means He still trust us to raise one more child godly :) big responsibility for me and my husband, but its quite exciting,because I know He has plan for us...

Anyway, after we discover it's a baby boy, I believe even more that this is God's will upon our little family..capenya skalian dan waktunya tepat. By the time this baby boy born,joice is almost 2 years old. A good age difference for me... When joice will start the school, her lil bro will about one year old, ready to antar cece ke sekolah too hehehehe jadi bisa temenin mama, just like joice's age now...

Thank you God,please don't stop to guide your servants...

Joice's First Birthday!!!!

Finally...she's one year old! I have been waiting this for a looong time he he...

Her birthday was celebrated at sunday school. We knew that she still didn't understand,so her dad said,we just celebrate it at sunday school because she has lots of friends there :) so I prepared the goody bags for all kids. Had a goody bag hunting with my neighbor, and we found a great edutoy to be put inside plus biscuit and milk of course. They were all almost in the same age, so they liked the same stuffs :)

Another celebration was only for close family, a dinner at pizza hut emporium mall. Joice got lots of presents and she didn't really understand yet, we took her pictures and she just loved what were inside when we unwrraped all at home...the favorite present was a baby pusher. From her uncle Thomas, she loved it, even until now. When she can walk already, she just dragged it everywhere around the house.

Papa and mama give thanks to God for His providence for this long..since baby until one year old...joice, may you grow in fear and knowledge of God ya...love youuu... :)

on carseat...

joice started to sit on carseat when she was about 14 months old.it's too late for her,but it's a perfect time for me :) I just found out that I was pregnant and I knew I couldn't carry her so much. She loves to sleep on car whenever we go out. So finally,we decided to buy one. It's a heritage that we buy from our cousin ‎​♓έ♓έ♓έ.... The condition was still perfect and the price was so reasonable. We never imagined before that it would bo so comfortable for joice. She could drink her milk lazily and she just went to sleep afterward... (Mama jadi bengong, ga ada kerjaan..;D) so overall,she likes it so much.it reminds her also about 'little einsten tv series'..buckle your seatbelt...mama cuma berharap joice akan tetep jatuh cinta sama ini carseat setelah dede lahir yah, jadi punya tangan untuk gendong dede, dan kita bisa pergi jj! Horeeee heheheheheh

When joice is almost 1,5 years old

Counting down nih….sebentar lagi udah 1,5 tahun! Cepet juga yahhhh (coba aja lu besarin dia hehehehe), with Joice every things are fun sebenarnya..sometimes she’s just so silly and funny…she does things and then she laughs to it hehehe…the problem is sekarang dia sudah belajar cara engga mau alias nolak habis-habisan dan marah kalau dilarang…yeee kan for your own goodness, joiceeee…tapi teteeeeuuuppp aja dia masih complain dan angry kalau ditegur…caranya: angkat tangan dan gaya mau mukul.

Kalau lagi pergi-pergi, its just so embarrassing..dikira orang, dia ga diajar sopan santun kali yah…tapi yah memang sudah ditegur and no changes. Tadinya even worse, bisa jambak rambut orang or tarik baju, tapi setelah dia belajar to say a word. Dia bisa panggil itu orang, jadi no aggression happen ..fiuh…anyway, gaya mukul nya ini cukup disturbing and destructive. Dan sasaran empuk dia adalah mbak nya…duh…ini berdua mungkin shio nya chiong hahahaha just kidding….ni mbak emang baru dan ga bisa ajak dia main, so she actually doesn’t like her. If you find the reason, you just can’t find it out. Mbak does nothing, the chemical isn’t there……joice doesn’t like her. Titik. That’s all…..

I tried many ways to decrease her bad habit…but still until now I’m struggling with it…sometimes I succeed but sometimes it didn’t work out…*sigh

Pernah sekali dia teriak-teriak karena ga mau bobo, minta keluar kamar. I didn’t let her to go out. She just screamed in fornt of the door (trus tangannya scratched mau buka pintu gituuuu). I waited about 15 mins, until she called “mama…, mama..” then I hugged her and held her on the bed, but she refused and went again to the door. (ya ampuuunnnn) then I just kept quiet and waited again for another 10 mins. The finally she called mamamamama…so this time I talked to her, that its her naptime and she looked sooo tired with red eyes…so I hugged and put her on my lap. I sang for her and tapped her hands. Suddenly she just kept quiet and enjoyed the moment. Not long after that, she closed her eyes and slept. I put her on bed and I smiled really wide (sendirian senyum senyum gila hehehehe)…doh..she really tested my patience…but I knew that she did it on purpose because there was no tear at all! Haha…..

So everyday is just like a roller coaster of experiences with her. How to deal with her behavior is such a great challenge for me. Theories without practices are really nothing….lately, she did manyyyy things to test my patience, but I also got manyyyyy ways to cope with it hehe! Just pray for widom from God day by day to handle our toddler….