between breastfeeding and formula

If I can choose....I would be willingly to breastfeed my second child directly...latched on me...but...I know way long before I gave birth that this might be a very big issue for me..

Joice is almost 2 in 3 more months,she requires my full attention,not to her physically needs but to her emotional needs. She's so active that you will run out energy before her..

This moment is a big struggle for me. I keep praying and ask God for wisdom, I really can't decide what's best for this situation. We (Calvin and I) had long discussion and talks before we decide this... So we have decided to express my breastmilk into bottle then my mom would help to feed with bottle,so I can have time (a real quality time) with joice. And when we go out, I could express and give to him directly or can give formula as supplement. This is a tough decision to both of us, since we are so agree that breastmilk is the best nutrition for baby. Our joice had full breastmilk until 13 months, not even one bottle of formula. She latched on me directly, we had fun time together. I had no other things to do too except of taking care of her and feed her. This time,its so much much different. Baby is here yet joice needs my attention. Sometimes,at night,I can't sleep thinking of what can I do for both of them. I believe that my breastmilk is just enough for Moses. I prefer him latched on me and I could carry him wherever I go. Note: as long as there's someone who can keep an eye for joice. If not, I don't have double hands for both of them he he, the other one wants to be fed, and another one has runnnnn awayyy from mommy ho ho ho....can you imagine that?

So anyway, expressing milk is so much different than baby's sucking, it has limited time and portion. I keep telling myself that I can do it, no matter how hard it is,I want to try by expressing milk as much as I can,as often as I can, so moses can get full breastmilk...
Nevertheless, I still want to mix with formula for just once in a day so he remembers the taste of formula millk.it would be easier for his transition later on. Meanwhile I need to eat and drink much so I can express more and more...its all in your mind,right..?? (Hormon oksitosin di kepala yang mengatur volume susu)

Hopefully this is the best decision for everyone....we'll see what will be happened next month...

second week

Moses is 13 days old now....I'm getting used to his habit now...poo poo in the morning and middle of night. Pee a lot at morning and sleep a lot during afternoon till about 7.30 pm. Then he wakes up and just looking around...hearing cece's loud voice and screaming...then he would sleep after cece has slept..ah...which means around 9.30. Its quite late for baby..poor moses..please bare with your cece. She's just so fussy lately. Doesn't want to go to sleep easily. Many times I need to force her to sleep or to really persuade her...*headache...

Moses still sleeps soundly,even when there's big loud noise around him. He's just so 'baby'. I bet this pattern will break after he reach his first month...any noise can wake him up,just like same old days with cece...I still put moses on my bed since I really need to lie down as much as possible, straighten my back to avoid any back pain afterward. I had serious back pain after gave birth last time. Because of feeding time that I need to sit up for a long time. So this time, I try to be as relax as I could...

Anyway, I still adjust the time between playing with joice and taking care of Moses. My mom is always around 24/7 to take care of joice. And my mom-in-law is here to cook for me and help to bathe baby moses. I can't really bend my waist so if I need to bathe baby,I put the everything on the sink in my bathroom so it is the same height with my hands' level.

Btw,moses was hospitalized again when he was 6 days old because of jaundice...his level is 14,6. We won't wait any longer,so one night we stayed at a room in hospital. Calvin was there to sleep over with me and baby. Pho pho was at home with joice. Thank God,in one night,the level was dropped to 9,5. So we went home on next day. Still moses need to sunbathe every morning and take much breastmilk and water. So I wake him up every two hours to drink before he falls to sleep. The light at room should always be on.also at night time. So I slept at other room for the first night with moses then we finally found a brighter place in our bedroom so we all could sleep together...its not fun to sleep alone next door.

and now we are all sleep together in one room. I usually put baby to sleep first then I accompany joice until she sleeps. Calvin takes care of moses, after cece sleeps,then its all peace...I usually give moses final drink before he also sleeps. Then we all can sleep peacefully. Though moses wakes up for another 2,5 hours later for breastfeeding time. I would wake up then breastfeed him. On the same time,I would watch for my dear family sleep. Joice sleeps on single bed next to my bed with her dad. I would watch for them sleeping and thank God for every nice and beautiful moment we can spend with each other every single day ...

Thank you God that I can pass this two weeks with healthy and strong body and mind. I officially don't have any post natal blues this time ha ha ha ha! Keep thinking positive and play with joice can really ease my mind from blues...moses is healthy and well fed. He gained much...last time he gained about 60 grams every day..now he is getting bigger,stronger,and heavier he he

detik detik proklamasi ke 2!

July 30th morning 7.15--- mengeluarkan lendir darah sedikit dan terus...sampai waktu melahirkan

08.30-- ke superindo belanja with mom and joice ha ha! Mumpung lg diskon,kita belanja mamypoko and barang2 rmh tangga

12.00 noon-- ke rspik with calvin.bidan periksa dlm n ctg,belum ada pembukaan,so lunch @ayam goreng kalasan

16.00-- ke gg jemput my dad and went to emporium mall- ceritanya mau nonton salt with calvin while my parents take care of joice :)

17.30-- kontraksi sakit sampai ga bisa jalan,duduk sebentar di foodcourt, come and go setiap 10 mins

19.00-- back to rspik kamar bersalin,ternyata sudah bukaan 6. Wow! No wonder kok sakit yah...

21.00--peak nya rasa sakit,tanpa epidural,tanpa apapun, bukaan 8 menuju 9, dr. Rama masih kondangan ("+:?!) So dr.tjien ronny stand by di bawah,ready utk menolong.

21.25-- kepala baby di ujung tanduk, udah mau ngeden he he.... Dr.tjien ronny ganti baju di sebelahku,no more time,dok...baby arrived at 21.25

Thank you dok....you really helped a lot!

Especially (*) .·.◦†нªηк's◦.·. (*) to Lord Jesus Christ! Sudah memberikan kekuatan yang entah drmana...he he...