between breastfeeding and formula

If I can choose....I would be willingly to breastfeed my second child directly...latched on me...but...I know way long before I gave birth that this might be a very big issue for me..

Joice is almost 2 in 3 more months,she requires my full attention,not to her physically needs but to her emotional needs. She's so active that you will run out energy before her..

This moment is a big struggle for me. I keep praying and ask God for wisdom, I really can't decide what's best for this situation. We (Calvin and I) had long discussion and talks before we decide this... So we have decided to express my breastmilk into bottle then my mom would help to feed with bottle,so I can have time (a real quality time) with joice. And when we go out, I could express and give to him directly or can give formula as supplement. This is a tough decision to both of us, since we are so agree that breastmilk is the best nutrition for baby. Our joice had full breastmilk until 13 months, not even one bottle of formula. She latched on me directly, we had fun time together. I had no other things to do too except of taking care of her and feed her. This time,its so much much different. Baby is here yet joice needs my attention. Sometimes,at night,I can't sleep thinking of what can I do for both of them. I believe that my breastmilk is just enough for Moses. I prefer him latched on me and I could carry him wherever I go. Note: as long as there's someone who can keep an eye for joice. If not, I don't have double hands for both of them he he, the other one wants to be fed, and another one has runnnnn awayyy from mommy ho ho ho....can you imagine that?

So anyway, expressing milk is so much different than baby's sucking, it has limited time and portion. I keep telling myself that I can do it, no matter how hard it is,I want to try by expressing milk as much as I can,as often as I can, so moses can get full breastmilk...
Nevertheless, I still want to mix with formula for just once in a day so he remembers the taste of formula millk.it would be easier for his transition later on. Meanwhile I need to eat and drink much so I can express more and more...its all in your mind,right..?? (Hormon oksitosin di kepala yang mengatur volume susu)

Hopefully this is the best decision for everyone....we'll see what will be happened next month...